She Wants To Go Home
by Tawreh
Summary: Raven's had enough. She doesn't think she belongs any more ...


_My friend copied some tracks onto a CD for me and I heard this one and ... An image filled my mind. Immediately a story built up around that image, and now a whole episode of Teen Titans has built up around that single image. And every time I think of this quick plotline, I start to cry ... almost. It's very meaningful to me ... For bad reasons, not good. I hope you don't relate to it in the same what that I do ..._

_I do not own Teen Titans._

_Lyrics: **Nobody's Home** by **Avril Lavigne**._

* * *

**Robin's View**

It had been a peaceful week, to say the least. There had only been one crime, a minor robbery, since last Saturday. Now it was three in the afternoon of the next Saturday. Most of the Titans sat around in the recreational room, doing various activities. Cyborg was repairing the gamestation, which had been broken apart earlier that day by Beast Boy throwing his controller at it a fit of anger – even though he insisted that he couldn't remember a reason for throwing it, nor even throwing it. He was sure it was against his will. His mind had filled with theories and ideas and, when none of the other Titans in the room listened to him, he had stormed off to his room, and stayed there.

Starfire was at the kitchen counter, half-heartedly stirring a large cooking pot. The afternoon was warm and drowsy, the summer sun still high in the sky. She wasn't paying any attention to her dish, but leaning on one hand with the elbow on the counter, staring out the window at the bay. Star's eyes were half-closed, and she wore a silly grin.

The leader of the Titans was sat on the sofa, his feet up and his head back on the back. He too stared out of the window but he saw nothing. His mind wandered; his thoughts were elsewhere. No-one would be able to tell what his thoughts were, not by looking at him. Robin's face was blank, not a single emotion showing. Just like the face of the final Titan, who was nowhere to be seen. She had not left her room all day. Robin, Starfire, Cyborg and Beast Boy only assumed she was meditating or reading. That was just what Raven did.. She was quiet, level-headed, perhaps she could be called the bane of the group. But they didn't call her anything bad to her face. Not ever.

"Hey!"

"Watch where you're going!"

Two angry voices cut through the silence. Robin started, his legs pulled in then dropped to the floor in a swift motion. He stood, and looked wildly over to the door, where the voices came from. They were oddly familiar, but Robin couldn't be totally certain; the voices were muffled a bit by the heavy metal door, so Robin didn't trust his immediate reaction.

"Get - out - of - my - way!"

The voices continued outside the door. There was no sound of physical or even mental combat – yet. Starfire had woken from her sleepy stupor and was gazing with her mouth open at the door, her spoon forgotten, her meal starting to crawl over the side of the pan. Cyborg was staring, fixated, at the door, too, and then he frowned.

"It's Rae and BB," he said, dropping his tools and standing up. Robin nodded; he had suspected as such. He leant forward, placed a hand on the back of the sofa and leapt over, landing neatly on the other side. His cape fluttered to a near stop before he set off at a run towards the door, and the voices that were growing louder as he got nearer. Behind him, dimly, he could hear Cyborg's heavy footsteps, and Starfire charging up her starbolts. He skidded to a halt in front of the door, just as it slid open. The scene that met his eyes was not the scene he had expected to find.

Raven was floating in the air, her cloak flying around her, eyes and hands glowing, and her hair wild. Beast Boy stood in a fighting pose in front of her, his eyes glaring. In a swift movement, Raven lifted her hands over her head and then brought them back down, sending beams of black lightning energy towards the green changeling. He leapt up, transforming into a sparrowhawk, before diving at his teammate with vengeance.

Robin glanced around for any reason behind the sudden conflict. He spotted a heavy, leather-bound book lying on the floor in a pile of a dark liquid. Taking a closer look, he noticed the liquid was Coke, and there was a bottle nearby, almost empty and still steadily dripping.

"That's the last time you'll do that!" Raven screamed at Beast Boy as he dove at her cloak, claws outstretched and ripping a huge hole in the middle. She whirled around, firing another tendril of black energy at him, and gripping his wing. Beast Boy tried to escape, but Raven pulled him in towards her. Frantically, the green changeling tried to transform to an animal that would be able to escape from Raven's clasp, but he failed. Eventually he fell limply to his normal form, and Raven held him so his face was level with hers. When she spoke, her voice was somewhat different to normal.

"I'm sick of you, Beast Boy."

This seemed to spark life into the limp teen. "Yeah? Well, guess what, miss Bookworm? I'm sick of you. You're always treating me like shit! You're always making it look like I'm stupid! You're always being mean to me! And there's never a reason! You're a mean, selfish bitch and I hate you!"

For a moment Raven looked like she'd been slapped hard in the face. She drew a sharp breath in, but instead of floating to the ground she shoved her face close to Beast Boy's. Her voice, when she spoke, was low, threatening, and very, very quiet.

"At least you're only sick of one person. I'm fed up of you, Cyborg and Starfire. Constant bickering, constantly annoying me. I hate you. I hate your annoying habits. I hate your greenness. I hate that you think I'm a spook. I hate that you think I'm strange, different, someone who should be left alone all the time. I'm fed up with being the good guy, I want to be different to you, I don't want to work with you, or any of you. I hate you, Beast Boy, and I'm never talking to you again. I'm never talking to any of you again." It didn't seem to register with Raven that she hadn't mentioned being fed up of Robin. In fact, it only sank in with Robin, who stood there, looking dumbstruck. His mouth moved like a fish's, and he sat down heavily on the ground, where he stayed.

Beast Boy looked taken aback. He recovered quickly, a sneer crossing his face, still dangling in mid-air. For all his cocky outward mannerisms, his eyes held a hint of doubt. "Yeah? Well, how're you gonna be different to us? How're you gonna not talk to us? We're your team, remember? And as long as you're our team you have to interact with us, and you've got to talk to us."

"In which case," Raven growled, her voice louder now, but with a definite wobble to it (although no Titan could tell whether it was sorrow or anger), "I guess I'd best be leaving." With that said, she let Beast Boy fall to the floor, where he, like Robin, sat and stared at her, dumbstruck. Unconsciously he rubbed the back of his neck where he had been held. Robin stared at Raven, too, and a surge of emotions overtook him.

"Raven!" he cried, reaching out. But said girl turned to him, glowered, then disappeared in a ball of black energy. Robin had no idea where she had gone, and turned to Cyborg, who stood there with an equally blank look on his face. Slowly he looked down.

"Damn," he said, slowly. His communicator system was swallowed in black energy, then split in half. "I don't believe it."

One by one the other Titans felt their communicators break apart. Raven had deliberately ruined them so they could not track her whereabouts. Cyborg puzzled for a moment, then remembered: he could track any team member whenever he wanted, with or without the communicator. That was why Raven had ruined his whole arm (which was now hanging uselessly by his side).

"We have to find Raven!" Starfire cried, near tears. Her face was stricken and she stared at each member. Robin stared back at her, rose from the floor and turned. He did not want the others to see him cry. He walked swiftly to the end of the corridor, turned the corner, then ran to his room, where he threw himself on his bed.

_**I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,**_

_**She felt it everyday.**_

_**And I couldn't help her,**_

_**I just watched her make the same mistakes again.**_

**Raven's View**

Angrily, Raven threw her communicator across the room, hard, and it hit the wall, where it splintered and sparked with electric energy. She growled, turning furiously, and used her mind to throw her most treasured possessions into the centre of her bed. Her collection of Edgar Allen Poe poems; her mirror; the photo of Robin and her, laughing (with one arm around each other, leaning in so their heads almost touched, and two objects behind them enveloped in black energy just before they exploded). As she let this item fall to the bed, Raven paused and strode over to the pile. Tenderly, she picked the picture up, and looked down at it; for a moment her anger vanished. Then her expression hardened and she almost tore the picture in two, but she managed to restrain herself. A pair of black combat trousers, some black sneakers, a violet top and a black sweater (with a small violet raven emblem sewn on at the hem, by none other than herself) were added to the pile. Raven enveloped them in black energy, looked around the room one more time, then leant under her bed and took out a case. It was half full already, with broken toys and other objects from her child hood. Carefully, Raven moved the objects aside, then placed the new items in, clicking the case shut with her hands.

Once more she looked around the room, and tears filled her eyes temporarily.

Once more she blinked away the tears that threatened to fall, like she did nearly every night.

Once more, she pulled her hood over her head and sighed.

Once more, she enveloped herself in black energy, and disappeared. Raven and her luggage reappeared outside, where a light rain was starting to fall. Raven muttered something angrily, looking over to the horizon. Thunderclouds were gathering ... And now Raven was left outside with nowhere to go. Damnit.

_**What's wrong, what's wrong now?**_

_**Too many, too many problems.**_

_**Dunno where she belongs,**_

_**Where she belongs.**_

She wrapped her cloak around her, shivering suddenly. A frown crossed her features, and she glared angrily at the window in the Tower that was Beast Boy's room. With a yell of fury, she raised a hand, pulled it back then threw it forwards, with a ball of black energy racing with astonishing speed at Beast Boy's window. It struck true (Raven was a very good shot), and for a moment everything was silent – save the gentle patter of the raindrops – before the whole of BB's room exploded. With a grin of satisfaction at the yells she heard distantly, Raven turned, her cloak fluttering behind her, and flew off towards Jump City.

First stop, the park. It was getting darker, what with the thunderclouds overhead, and the rain meant no-one would be outside. The park was the perfect place to go: it was pedestrianised, no cars or scooters or anything that was motor-driven could come in here, so she would be safe from people who wanted to go somewhere in their car. It was quiet, too, because it was far from the road – the only way of reaching it was to walk or travel by bike. There was a large forest around one side of the park, so she could find shelter there. A perfect place to spend her first night alone.

Solemnly, Raven flew towards the small expansion of forest that was spread somewhere near the centre of Jump City. Her luggage trailed behind her, wrapped in black energy, not getting wet. Raven thought about protecting herself from the rain but, when she tried, she found she was too tired to be able to muster the energy to do that. So she flew on in silence, getting steadily wetter as the rain became heavier. Sometimes an object far below blew up as Raven suddenly felt a flow of guilt, anger, sorrow or loss. By the time she got to the park, she couldn't tell what was rain and what were tears on her cheeks.

She landed softly at the edge of the forest. Her luggage thudded on the grass beside her and Raven bent to pick it up. Slowly she entered the forest, looking around at the tall looming trees, in full leaf. The ground underneath was quite dry, but every so often she felt a drop of water fall on her head or arm, and Raven knew that soon the forest's floor would be as wet as she was.

For about ten minutes Raven wandered through the forest before she slumped in defeat at the base of a tree. Her head lolled on her chest and she fell into a peaceful sleep, snoring lightly.

000

When she woke up about two hours later, Raven felt much more refreshed. She blinked wearily, looking around, and wondering for a moment why she was here. Then the memory of what had happened in the tower, nearing three hours ago, flooded back to her. Raven let her body relax suddenly, a look of immense disbelief in her eyes. Somewhere to her left side she heard a cry of "Robber!" and started, ready to get up and go and fight with the Titans.. But then she remembered. She wasn't a Titan any more. It would take some getting used to.

Raven yawned and stretched. Fighting Beast Boy, blowing his room up (Raven half-grinned in satisfaction as she thought about whether she had blown BB up with it), flying nearly ten miles ... That had all taken loads out of her. Raven still felt weak but she was much more powerful now, and, if the need arose, she would be able to defend herself.

What could she do? Most of the things she normally did were at the Tower.. But that wasn't her home any more, she was a rogue, a rebel. She had no home. Raven considered going home to her mother ... but that was out of the question. Last time she had seen Angela Roth, she was in a hospital bed on Azarath, and the doctor had told her she would probably not recover. Tears filled Raven's eyes involuntarily and she drew her legs to her chest, resting her elbows on her hips and letting her head fall to her hands. She sobbed quietly, feeling her loss. She had no family, no friends, no nothing. Just memories now. What good were memories when they couldn't make you feel any better?

Nearby a few trees blew up. Raven took no notice but started to sob louder. It was a long time since she had cried freely, and now she needed to cry .. She needed to let her feelings out. It was a good thing she was in the middle of the small wood, because things kept exploding. It was still raining, so no-one would be out. Raven yelled incoherent words when she needed to, thrashing her arms wildly sometimes, but eventually she fell to her side. Her sobs subsided slightly and she fell into another uneasy sleep, just as the rain started to pour down, and thunder rolled. Lightning spread across the sky, illuminating Raven's slender form, laid on the mossy ground of the Jump City Park Forest.

Raven's sleep was uneasy. She woke at about one in the morning, and recounted the experience of the past twenty-four hours. It had stopped raining, but the ground was wet and Raven groggily noticed she was soaked. Thankfully her case was waterproof so her belongings were not ruined. A sudden feeling of wanting to belong washed over the Goth and she blinked, another tear rolling down her cheek. She stood, wobbling slightly. For support Raven leant against the tree, and looked around. A few branches were scattered about the place, suggesting that many trees had been blown up whilst Raven wept. For once, however, Raven did not feel embarrassed or anything. In fact, at this moment in time, all she wanted was to go home. She wondered if she would be allowed to.. If the others would take her back.

Still feeling dizzy the Goth grabbed at her case, and started to walk through the forest. She had no idea where she was going – well, she did, home; but there was the problem that it was half one in the morning.. Besides which, they probably wouldn't want her back – not after she'd told them all she hated them, and not after she'd literally blown Beast Boy's room apart. Remembering this, Raven let a faint trace of a smile cross her face. It was a few moments later that she reached the edge of the forest and looked to the sky. "Fly," she thought to herself, and immediately she rose gently into the air.

Raven flew for about half an hour. The sky was starting to get lighter, but not by a lot. She stared over at the bay, where the silhouette of a huge "T" hid some of the sky. "Home," Raven muttered out loud, and sped up a little. There were no lights on; the Titans were either all asleep or out searching for her. A dark shape against the sky.. No-one would be able to find her. Raven had made sure all the communicators – including her own – where ruined, and she had broken Cyborg's tracking device. She wondered if Robin and Cyborg had found their ruined vehicles. The Goth felt a twinge of guilt at the sudden thought of ruining Cyborg's T-Car, because she had helped to build it ... Oh well, it was done, and she couldn't reverse it. Not now.

Slowly, the Tower got larger as Raven flew closer to it. She blinked stupidly at it. A huge hole was still smoking a little from her explosion, but other than that, there was no noise or anything coming from the tower. Gingerly Raven landed on the roof, dropping her luggage there. She glanced around, thinking that Robin might be there – he often came up here to think. But he wasn't. Feeling sad, Raven decided to check at each window. Starfire slept with the curtains open. Raven'd check on her first.

Raven glided down, her luggage left on the roof. There was no noise from Starfire's room. Nervously, Raven glanced in, only to find Starfire lying on her bed. She was not lying in her normal manner ... In fact, she was sprawled on her front, her head buried in her arms. There were a few wet patches by her head, and Raven noticed that Star's body was shaking slightly. It was obvious she had been, and was still, crying. "Hmm," Raven thought, "Let's try Cyborg next.."

Raven let a couple of tears slide down her cheeks. She was cold, shivering, and she wrapped her torn coat around her slender form. The Goth descended a storey, then looked into Cyborg's room. He was propped up, wired into the wall. He was asleep, but his face was twisted, and Raven could make out a tear mark. Raven floated there a moment, then lifted her hand to the glass, as if she wanted to stroke Cyborg's cheek. Filled with grief, she flew up once more, to where her room was.

It had been left as she had left it. Not a single thing had been touched .. The door hadn't even been opened. Raven smiled a little, thankful for a moment, then floated around the Tower, trying to find where Beast Boy slept.

She found him in the kitchen, where Star had been that morning. He looked exhausted, but he had maps and all sorts in front of him, spread on the counter. His eyelids were drooping, and tears ran down his cheeks too, but he was still staring at all the maps and everything else that was spread there. Raven could only guess that he was trying to figure out where she could be. He was guilt-ridden, by the look of it. Guilt overwhelmed Raven too, and she let out a gasping sob, before racing back to the roof. She didn't want to check on Robin, not now.

_**She wants to go home, but nobody's home.**_

_**It's where she lies, broken inside.**_

_**With no place to go,**_

_**No place to go to dry her eyes -**_

_**Broken inside.**_

Once on the roof, Raven looked around. She searched for her luggage – but it was nowhere. She _had_ left it up here... Hadn't she? But then her senses twitched and she looked around again. There was someone else there. Her eyes were already adjusted to the darkness, but she couldn't see anyone.

"Hello, Raven." Robin's voice was cold, dry, cracked. Raven whirled around, facing the fire exit, where Robin stood. Her luggage was at his feet. "I knew you'd want to come back.."

"Robin, I want my stuff."

"Raven, why don't you stay?" Robin's expression was pained as he strode towards the Goth. He was taller than her (not by much), so when he reached her he was looking down on her. Raven looked up, tears fresh on her cheeks and making her eyes bright. But she wore an expression of immense determination. Robin glared at her, and firmly took her hands in his own. "We all miss you."

"I bet you don't.. Not really. I've only been gone for less than a day. You'll get used to it. I want my stuff. Let go of me. _Let go._" Raven suddenly yelled at Robin, kicking out and pulling away from him. His grip was firm, and he dodged the kick easily. His expression changed, and Raven, now sobbing heavily, fell against him. She was weak and Robin could feel it. She needed people around her.

"We do miss you.. I miss you. More than you could know."

Raven sneered against Robin's shoulder, and pulled away. "You're only saying that 'cause you're the team leader. It's your duty to tell us that."

"No! Yes.. No. I don't know. No. It's not. But it is.." Robin trailed off, confused. In his confusion he let his grip slack, and Raven pulled free, running to her case. The Titan Leader turned, and stared at Raven. The mask disguised his expression. He sighed and waved a hand.

"Fine. Go. Don't bother about us, your loyal teammates.." Robin paused. "But tell me why I don't annoy you before you go."

Raven blinked. "What?"

"Earlier. You said that BB, Cyborg and Star annoy you ..Nothing about me."

Raven frowned, annoyed. "I have no idea why I said that... Because you do annoy me. You annoy the hell outta me. Can I go now?"

Once more Robin sighed. He shook his head and Raven waited obediently. She dropped her case and shifted her weight to her left leg, folding her arms. Robin stood still, and Raven started to get impatient. All of a sudden Robin strode over to her, placed his hands on her shoulders, leaned in and kissed her.

When he broke away, Robin said, "It is my duty to say that I don't want my teammates to go. But I meant what I said. I don't want you to go, I miss you more than you could know."

Raven stood there, dumbfounded. Slowly a red blush crept up her neck and across her face. Hurriedly she grabbed her case again and took off in one swift movement. Robin watched her disappearing into the distant horizon, and once more, tears filled his eyes. At least he had managed to say goodbye..

Raven flew. She flew and flew and flew. She didn't stop when she reached the park, her favourite café, the edge of Jump City. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she raced through the sky, her cloak fluttering behind her. In the distance, shrouded by early morning mist, several mountains capped the horizon. That was where she was heading.

It was nearly five in the morning when the mist cleared and Raven set down on the rocky mountainside. The sun rose slowly behind the mountains, and Raven turned, hiding in the shadows. She sat heavily, then looked around. She was surrounded by rocks, and the sky stretched above her. Below was a desert, beyond was Jump City, then the bay and the sea. Eventually, Raven stopped seeing what was in front of her, and just gazed into space.

_**Open your eyes and look outside,**_

_**Find the reasons why**_

_**You've been rejected,**_

_**And now you can't find what you left behind.**_

**Robin's View**

He stood there and watched her retreating figure. It was so graceful, so beautiful. Even when she had vanished from view, Robin kept staring after her. His hand raised through no fault of his own and he seemed to grab after her, and something caught in his throat. Trying not to cry again, Robin swallowed the lump in his throat, and looked down. He blinked rapidly behind his mask, but that didn't stop one tear leaking down his cheek. Raven was gone ... He would have to face that now, face life without her. Resignedly, he started back downstairs to his room. Robin knew that Beast Boy was trying to work out where Raven had gone. Beast Boy loved Raven as much as, if not more than, Robin. Passing the door to the kitchen and rec. room, Robin figured it couldn't hurt to take a peep to see how BB was doing.

The door slid open and Robin heard Beast Boy yell from inside. The leader smiled to himself, despite the situation. "Beast Boy, it's only me. How're you doing?"

"Not great," Beast Boy admitted, sighing and dropping his head onto the counter. "I can't think where the hell Raven would want to go." His voice was muffled against the cold counter surface.

"Well, think about it," Robin said, drifting over to where Beast Boy was poring over the maps. "She likes quiet, and she likes to be in a dark place where no-one will ever go. Where could that be?"

"I thought of her café, and perhaps the J.C. Park Forest, and the mountains."

"We'll try those places tomorrow, alright? I can get some people to help if you like."

"Yeah ... Yeah, alright. Thanks, Robin.. I'll go get some sleep now." Beast Boy smiled weakly and moved around the counter. As he passed Robin, he nodded to him. "You should get some rest too, man, you've been up all night yourself."

"Thanks for the advice, but I don't think I need to rest," Robin replied, touched by his friend's concern. Beast Boy shrugged and moved away, and the sound of the door sliding open then closed signalled his leaving the room. Robin stared out of the window, watching the sun's reflection on the water as it rose slowly behind him, behind Jump City, behind the mountains. He was already past tears. It was a new day; he would have to be strong. There would be crimes to fight. Perhaps the press would hear about Raven's disappearance. There'd be that to answer to.. It meant Robin would have to think up a story, perhaps. That would make the front page for certain. The Boy Wonder stepped over to the sofa, stuffing his hands in his pockets. His expression was sad, but to anyone who didn't know him well, they would not know that.

"Raven wouldn't want us all moping around," Robin muttered, noticing a small bead glittering on the floor. He frowned. It was one from Starfire's Tamaranian celebration of Blorthog last year. The bead had obviously rolled under the sofa. Crouching, Robin picked it up and tossed it in the air. He caught it with a laugh. "Wait, she would. She's the sort who likes to cause others pain.."

This notion in his head, Robin felt a little better. But it didn't stop that he missed Raven, that she wasn't a part of their team any more. And with this dawning comprehension in his head Robin deflated a little, his new idea gone from his mind completely. "It's no different." He let the bead fall to the floor again, and kicked it sullenly under the sofa. Robin shoved his hands back into his pockets and stood staring out of the window again. This time, he stood until the other Titans were up, without moving a muscle. He didn't sleep.

_**Be strong, be strong now,**_

_**Too many, too many problems.**_

_**Dunno where she belongs,**_

_**Where she belongs.**_

**Raven's View**

It was now ten o'clock and the sun had risen fully. Raven had crept into a cave, where she had changed from her leotard and cloak into the tank top, sweater, trousers and sneakers she had collected in her room. Now she sat staring at the picture she had picked up in the half-light. Tears filled her eyes every so often still, and she remembered the day the picture had been taken. It had been in the park..

_"Come on, Raven, please!" Beast Boy had begged her, tugging at her arm. She had endured it for a moment, smiling a little at the boy's antics, before she grew tired._

_"I said no."_

_"Puhr-leeeease?" Ignoring the tone in her voice, Beast Boy had leant forward and tickled Raven._

_"Hey!" Raven squealed, doubling up and giggling, "Filthy cheat! Alright, damnit, I'll play!" Still giggling weakly, Raven allowed herself to be pulled forward by Beast Boy. Robin and Starfire were paired up, bound by the leg. Raven's jaw dropped. "You're joking.. We're not playing a three-legged race, are we?"_

_"Well yeah!" Beast Boy grinned, standing next to Raven. Cyborg came up, grinning, and bound their legs together. Raven rolled her eyes, but she didn't stop grinning. Nearby a rubbish bin exploded, but none of the Titans seemed to notice._

_"Right!" Cyborg cried, "You've gotta race from here to that tree and back. The winner gets .. uh .. something!"_

_All the Titans had laughed appreciatively at this. They readied themselves to start as Cyborg yelled "Get ready! Get set!" Raven had glanced over at the other two Titans, then leapt ahead, pulling Beast Boy behind her._

_"Come on!" she grinned, pulling him by the hand. Beast Boy lagged for a moment then fell in step with the Goth, and they raced to the tree, about a metre ahead of Starfire and Robin. They turned the corner, and it seemed they were about to win when Beast Boy stumbled. The pair tumbled to the ground, landing in a giggling heap. Nearby, other bins and even an ice cream truck exploded. Starfire and Robin ran on to win._

_"I want a rematch, with different partners!" Raven giggled, freeing herself from Beast Boy's leg. Robin and Starfire grinned too, agreeing._

_"Fine," Robin said, and looked to Raven, "I choose Her Royal Highness Miss Raven as my partner. Will you accept, fair lady?"_

_Feeling somewhat out of it, what with the sudden surge of happiness in her head, Raven replied in a silly manner. "Of course, dear sir, I would not think of turning your offer down." She watched as Robin bent over in a bow, proffering a hand with a flourish. Raven took it, and Cyborg came over with some more string._

_"I hereby pronounce you man and uh, do you want to be wife, Rae?" Cyborg grinned as he tied the rope around their legs. Raven had collapsed against Robin, still laughing weakly. Robin laughed too, and Cyborg, feeling how special the moment was, whipped out a camera and took a couple of photographs. "Keepsakes," he grinned, as Raven blinked and tried to regain focus. Everything had been bright .. and blobby. Hmm._

_"I'll have a glass of sherry and perhaps a firecracker or two," Raven slurred before passing out in a daze and falling back on the floor._

Even now the memory brought a faint smile to Raven's lips. Her sweater was hooded and she pulled the hood up now, covering her face, shadowing it. She knew that the team would come out to find her later. She sneaked a glance out of the cave entrance. In the faraway distance she could see a crane beginning work on the Tower. "It's not home any more.." Raven voiced this thought out loud. It was somewhat shocking to hear that; it made it somewhat reality now. "It's just another building full of other superheroes who go around saving another city from destruction." And with this, an overwhelming feeling of loss came over Raven, and she started, once more, to sob.

_**She wants to go home, but nobody's home.**_

_**It's where she lies, broken inside.**_

_**With no place to go,**_

_**No place to go to dry her eyes -**_

_**Broken inside.**_

Raven couldn't remember the last time she had sobbed so hard. She couldn't remember the last time she had reason to sob this much. This time she did ... This time, Raven had thrown everything away. Her home, her friends, her life. Her food. Raven's stomach growled and, despite the situation at hand, the Goth laughed weakly through her tears. She poked her stomach, and it growled back at her again. For a few moments Raven repeated this; it was comic relief, something to take her mind off her situation. Besides, it was fun.

How to pass the time.. Now her stomach had stopped gurgling, Raven crawled over to her case. She placed the picture back in, and took out her book. It was a while since she had read this. She settled back against the rocks, and propped the book open against her legs. Raven began to read, her eyes flicking over the page and her mouth speaking the words quietly to herself.

"_Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary..._" Raven smiled. This was her favourite poem. It was a great way to open the book. "_Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.._"

Images filled her mind as she read, just like every time she read anything. It was like her mind was a blank canvas that was filled every time something was imagined. Now she saw a figure bent over work, searching madly through documents. Now she saw a black raven tapping gently at the window, the person looking up.. And with a gasp, Raven let the book clatter to the ground. The person was Beast Boy.

"What the ...?" Raven blinked. What did that mean? She never saw anything that included real people – much less people she knew well. Why was Beast Boy there? "He wouldn't search through documents ... Wait..." Raven paused. She strained her mind to remember what he had been poring over. "Not documents..." she gasped again. "Maps.. He was trying to figure out where I was."

With another jolt of shock, Raven remembered that there had been tear marks down Beast Boy's face. "He misses me.." And that sparked another memory, one of Robin telling her that they all missed her. "They all miss me. But I can't go back.. Not after what I've done ... Can I?" Raven finished in a whisper. She put a hand to her mouth and sat like that for a moment. A loud buzzing noise started up in her head and she shook it, clearing her thoughts completely. She had already felt too much in the past couple of days... She couldn't afford to feel anything else. Sighing, her eyes stinging with tears, Raven pulled herself up into a meditative position.

_**Her feelings she hides,**_

_**Her dreams she can't find.**_

_**She's losing her mind,**_

_**She's fallen behind.**_

_**She can't find her place,**_

_**She's losing her faith.**_

_**She's fallen from grace,**_

_**She's all over the place.**_

**Beast Boy's View**

"It's all my fault," BB muttered aloud to himself. He was running on ahead of the other three, to the park. He needed to find Raven, he needed to bring her back. He was lost without her. Beast Boy had cried all night, even in his sleep, which had been plagued by images of Raven – yelling at him, grinning with him, putting him down, being there for him. Raven was a very dear friend of his and he wasn't about to lose her. Not this easily. Death was one thing ... When she chose to go away .. That was another thing altogether.

At last! BB had reached the Park. He skidded to a halt in front of the gate then pushed it open, transforming into a bloodhound as he did so. Almost immediately he picked up Raven's faint scent. Relieved, the green dog raced into the park, following the trail. It lead to the wood – just where he had suspected it would lead to. His tail wagging, Beast Boy barked once, then, just in case the others hadn't heard him, he howled a little. Starfire turned up first, with Robin and Cyborg following close behind.

"I still can't believe she wrecked my car," Cyborg frowned in disbelief once again. Robin rolled his eyes, then stared at Beast Boy.

"Good work. Lead the way," he nodded. Beast Boy obliged and led the way into the wood. The trail continued for about ten minutes, and Beast Boy ended in a small clearing. There was evidence that quite a few trees had exploded around here. The other Titans looked around in awe, trying to fathom where Raven was. Beast Boy shook his head, and noticed a small piece of dark blue cloth on the ground a little way away. He changed into human form, and pointed.

"Hey! That's from her cloak!"

Robin looked around and down at the cloth. For a moment he was worried that perhaps Raven had been attacked, then he noticed it had snagged on a twig. Obviously she had caught it as she lay down or walked past or something. "Is this where the trail ends, Beast Boy?"

"Yeah. It seems to go back to the edge of the forest, I think. Then I kinda lose it." Beast Boy stared hard at the piece of cloth, willing it to tell him something. It didn't. It did nothing. "Raven..." he whispered, tears filling his eyes. All of a sudden anger overwhelmed him and he tore the scrap to pieces, and ran from the clearing.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire cried, taking after him, but she was stopped by Cyborg.

"Let him have some time to himself."

Beast Boy ran. He kept running, stumbling, tears blinding his vision. Eventually he collapsed in another small clearing, spread-eagle on the floor. Tears glittered in the light filtering through the gaps in the branches overhead.

**Raven's View**

"I want to go home," Raven realised. "But I have no home." This set her back. She didn't belong any more. There was nowhere for her to turn to. "Why is life never fair!" With growing despair, Raven slammed the book against the wall, causing a few bats to squeak and flap their wings. "I'll never belong! Not ever!"

_**She wants to go home, but nobody's home.**_

_**It's where she lies, broken inside.**_

_**With no place to go,**_

_**No place to go to dry her eyes -**_

_**Broken inside.**_

**Beast Boy's View**

"I want you back, Raven .. You belonged with us, you fitted in here... You were home here ... Why don't you come home?"

_**She's lost inside, lost inside...**_

**_She's lost inside, lost inside._**

* * *

_That was seriously the longest thing I have ever written ... And I am really pleased with the out come. I hope you liked it. I think perhaps it would have been better off as a story, now I'm finished – but I'm not changing it. My only regret ... ? I think the ending was somewhat rushed. I don't like the ending, but I got fed up and I wanted to finish it so ... that came out. It's not too bad ... I guess. Anyway, R&R, please. Thanks.  
_


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